Profes. Birthday Photos. Miss O

A while back. Well July 13th to be exact my mom had taken Mr A for a couple days so I decided to take that opprotunity to take Miss O over to the Picture People to get some birthday photos done.


I was going to do them myself after all but then I said I want some studio shots too and right now I cant set up my studio dur to lack of space. So off to PP we went. Normally I cant stand their photos. They or atleast THIS studio doesnt even bother to really 'try' maybe its the photographer in me that senses their lack and/or desire to even care about the photographs.

So when we got there we had this huge {by huge I mean tall} man name Josh come out to get us. I was thinking ok I dont know how Miss O is going to react to this but we will just go with it. Not like I had to buy the photos if they came out shitty right...lol

Right from the start he was fun and goofy with her. Getting done all the required poses in her 1st outfit before moving on to the next. She had a blast with him. I was impressed by him. The other camera holders.{I cant even bring myself to call them photographers} didnt try like he did. So when I want to get the kids photos done at PP again I will be making sure I do it when Josh is here. Now for the rest of the photos :)

Though I am not too fond of these black ones. Im very picky about black back grounds. If you dont fill them in and make them look black they just dont look right.

But he captured Miss O's personality well. He just might have renewed my faith in PP after all :)

If you really knew me....

You would be able to see the hurt on my face that seems to have taken up permanent residence. You would know that something just isnt right in my personality right now. I know you all see my happy posts about my children. I post those instead of whats going on inside me. Partly because I have learned the hard way about saying anything too personal on the internet, partly because I dont want a negative post, partly because I dont think anyone really cares about it.

I have some things that are bothering me. Actually bother isnt the right word; they are down right making me a little depressed, angry and sad. It has to do with my dad. I posted a while back that I had not been in contact with my dad since I was about 8 yrs old Im 29 almost 30 now. Well Last year he was able to start being part of my life again, he was able to meet his grandchildren. We started re-connecting.

A couple months ago he went to Colorado to see his girlfriend and they got married while he was there. I knew they planned on getting married, she didnt want anyone there she wanted it to be just him and her. Being who I am I really would have loved to be involved. But I let it go. Miss O's birthday is in a week, and he says he plans on going; hopefully he shows up. His grandchildren have been wanting to see him since thanksgiving last year. They havent seen him 8 months. They ask anytime Im on Facebook and they see his photo. They love their grandpa unconditionally right now.

I am huge on family. I think its because Ive never had alot of family around as a child. It was always just my mom. So getting the opprotunity to be around my dad and family on that side has really perked me up. Well My dad informed me that 2 weeks after Miss O's party he will be moving to Colorado permanently.

Dont get me wrong, I am happy for him being able to be with his new wife but I feel cut off and let down; I havent had hardly any time with him. Its not like I can easily go visit him.  He use to be 2 hrs away now he will be 2 states away. I feel like its me and he just doesnt seem to care. I hurt for my children who had the opprotunity to really form a bond with their grandpa and now they have to sit and wonder why it is they cant see him.

You might be thinking- your a grown woman with your own family quite acting like a spoiled brat and get over it. BUT when you have wanted nothing more you whole life than to have your father in it, to have a relationship, to know that no one can stop you now, My heart is broken over this. I truly am upset and alittle depressed.

I just thought that writing it out might help me move on and get past this. After all I have something to look forward to... and Him being back in my life for this time period has put me in contact with Family I never would have contact with if he hadnt been here. I just wish that I had more time with him.

B&W Wednesday- The Path

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

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Link up at The Long Road to China