Post 100 to End June

This is the last day of June :P and I am at 100 posts even! Wooooot...lol So as you all know Caylee went to a birthday party last Sat. She really did have a blast. She had gotten a bug bite. I dont know if it was a actual spider bite or a misquito bite but anyway it was growing in size and redness; so last night she went over to the ER since the dumb advice nurse wouldnt put me through to get a appt for this morning and insisted she be seen ASAP.




Anyway So she was seen. The ER Dr gave her 10days on Antibiotics plus Benedryl. He cant say for sure what type of bite it is so he is treating for both Allergic reaction (benedryl) and infection (antibiotics) So soon it should start going away. She has to see her reg Dr in 2-3 days and has a nice black marker Circle on her shoulder to mark wether its growing or shrinking....



So on another Note and different kid I AM IN POTTY TRAINING HELL with Atticus. I know he is ready but he is resisting soooooo much.One day He asks to go potty;he refuses to wear his diapers, so we put him in his big boy undies.. I take him to the potty every 1/2 hour he will sit on it but not pee ( he sits for like 5 minutes each time) and then he will get off put his undies back on run around and go piss on my carpet. ugh.



Then other days he refuses all together to even wear undies. and only wants his diapers...... JUST POTTY TRAIN... please............. Im begging you son!!!!!!! or at the very least decide to stay in diapers for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.....The girls were never THIS HARD TO TRAIN.



ok and last but not least on the kid front: Olivia..sweeet sweeet Olivia..haha Yea right she has been being a little turd. she completely destroyed her room............................................. need i say more?



but I do absolutely love my kids with all my heart and soul.. no matter what bratty thing they are doing :P

Monday Mayhem:

Day One of Caylees Summer Vacation from school and She is already bored...WTH, ok i am sorry your so bored child but does that mean you have to follow me around the house whinning???? No this is probably the only time that you will here me thank god for the kids having year round school here!!!!! because summer vacation is SHORT. haha




I dont know what i would do if i had to listen to her complain for 2 months straight. and what is with the Im bored whinny crap anyway?



So yea I hate Mondays. I just hate them. its like a signal goes off in the kids.Alert ALert its monday.. Make sure you wake up at the butt crack of dawn and instantly start fighting! Woooot................... not



John works just 2 nights this week.. yerp. 16 more days until our anniversary; I had a "new" word....lol its



YERP; although i dont think its an actual word. it kinda came out when i was saying yea and burped at the same time. Im really driving Erin nuts with it... yes Erin i can tell.... :)



alrighty well back to my Monday Mayhem.. lots of work to get done...

Everybody's Nuts;

Ok First off How many of you are wondering why I am saying Everybody is Nuts....haha




<--------- THE bestest Pistachios on the planet! I just got done eating South of the Border Flavor... and oh my it is the YUMM.



you can check out their website here: Everybodys Nuts Website!.

South of the Border

European Roast

Roast No Salt

Salt & Pepper

Our Adventure to the Drive In:

And lets just say it will be our only adventure to the drive in with these children again...lol Well maybe not Olivia. she actually did good. you would think since William is 7 he would enjoy it. NOPE. He Whinned the whole time... and then there is Melanie who just couldnt listen and Atticus who tried to run away several times. Yea i should have just stayed home....




Caylee is over at a friend house celebrating her daughters birthday with a camp over.. they are sleeping in a tent in the backyard... So far so good I mea its just about 2am and I havent gotten any calls to come get her :p sweeeeeeeeeeeet. Tomorrow John has to take William and Melanie ALL the way back up the mountain.. Joy joy i finally get my house back to normal....



anyway Im off to shower then bed... It was soooo hot outside i feel like i have 20 pounds of sweat on me. Oh yea we saw UP and Part of Night at the Museum.... from what i could actually see both are worth waiting to see when they are on DVD...

The final photos of Caylee's 3rd grade year...

Caylees Teacher sent these home with here so i thought i would share!:

 
 
Caylee and Her buddy from class


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Principal Mike Anderson Giving Caylee her 75pt reading Chip


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Caylee's 3rd grade Class Yesterday aternoon they made Tied dyed shirts


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Basketball practice.. the famous practice that caused her to be in a splint for a week

Well thats it.. I officially have

a 4th grader. as of Noon today Caylee is officially out of the 3rd grade and will start 4th grade in July. Wow time flies. i can remember her just being a itty bitty baby. Now she is 3 years away from Junior High and the start of the tween age....Something i am not looking forward to by the way. She is super excited about going into the 4th grade. Not as excited that most of her friends wont be there next year. {she hangs mostly with the 6th graders} Just like her momma she has older friends.So John is off getting William and Melanie for the weekend and here I am procrastinating on going to the store by posting my babys last pic as a 3rd grader. Yea I didnt go to bed until 3am lastnight; thats what i get for getting all that sleep. So anyway its just Atticus and I this morning; Olivia wanted to go with John because she misses her Melanie SOOOO much and has to be there! Woot. Expect photos by Monday. Im sure i will be taking some...lolAlrighty then. Off to go get errands done. Enjoy your Friday everyone!

Children....children....children....

So you know there is nothing better than getting to spend time with the hubby alone after getting the kiddos to bed. Its like Heaven at the house. Its our time to joke around and play and have fun with each other. Tonight we watch a little TV, played a round of Clue and took a shower. Thats where my title comes in..... My children are very mischeivous little boogers. After dinner we put atticus and olivia in the bath {caylee took hers before dinner so she could get some rest for her last day of 3rd grade!} They were in there for maybe 20 minutes total before getting out {and I should have known something was up when Atticus came out with bubbles all over him} coming into the living room and getting dressed. Daddy put the kiddos to bed and all was quiet in the house. So about 30 minutes ago we decide to take a shower which is something we havent gotten to do together in a LONG time. We walk in and there is little pieces of Toilet paper roll in the bottom of the tub..... So Hubby starts cleaning it off and sticks his hand in a gooey glob of shampoo.. OH look mommy's EXPENSIVE {we are talking $30 a bottle/from the salon special shampoo} has been emptied out all over the tub. GREAT. this is the 3rd bottle this month. Why do i have expensive shampoo you ask??? Its because i have severly dry scalp/skin and its a Tea Tree Oil shampoo that has been the only thing to really work on my hair. Well i cant keep spending that much on it so if anyone has a alternative PLEASE let me know..... Yep my children are definately Mischeivous little boogers... but atleast they are clean now.....lol.... Anyway off to bed to cuddle with hubby and get some sleep before tomorrow... 9am John meets the exwife to get the kidlets and chaos will begin! Peace Love and all that junk... One last thing.. RIP Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and Michael Jackson! :)

Sleep..Yes i finally got some:

Yesterday I slept.. Finally slept. it felt so good. Ive actually been sleeping since about 8pm lastnight. Got up to pee a few times and to take Caylee to school this morning but that was it...lol I slept until 2:25 this afternoon. Now i know i am going to pay for it tonight by being up all night. ugh oh well it was worth it. Tomorrow John gets the other kids from their moms. So we will have a weekend with All 5 of them. and tomorrow night we are going to attempt to take them to the drive in. Woot we havent been since the last Harry Potter came out. Saturday Caylee is Going to Rachel's Daughters birthday party. Its a over night camp out. she is super excited. and then Next weekend Johns mom is taking the girls with her down to LA to see Auntie Michelle and the cousins for 4th of july weekend! WOOOOOT.. i cant wait. it will be a much needed break and it will be nice to just have Atticus and give him some one on one time. :P John is off all weekend because of having the kids so he doesnt go back to work until Monday then he only works Mon and Tues...lol ANyway a better blog later the girls want to go outside~ :P

Because I am up....

Yea Im up. its 2:24 am and I am wide freaking awake. When is my body going to get a clue that its ASS backwards???? I seriously dont think i am going to make it much longer pulling the almost alnighters and then having to be awake all day with my children. Ive been a total bitch today :{ Then Again it could be because Im off the Prozac.... Which i will start taking again tomorrow. I stopped because It seemed to just level me out. I was back to being up all night again and tired during the day and my moods just seemed to go in a flat line instead of up like they had been. Dur Desiree.. thats what its suppose to do. So i waited a few weeks and I am going to give it a shot again :P Then you most likely wont see anymore late night blogs from me..hehe. Anyway John is working 6p-6a tonight so he wont be home soon like he normally is. but thats alright. This weekend we have all the kids {yea not really looking forward to it but oh well not like i can stop it from happening}. Ok well i guess im going to go try to sleep. Try being the key word. most likely i will just stare at the dark ceiling while my mind continues to think on overload. haha yea.. damn brain Goodnight!

This evening was Caylees End of third grade performance. Their Theme was a Patriotic Salute~ It was cute. I had to go alone with the two little ones {Atticus and Olivia} so it was a little hard keeping them entertained until it started. Once it started they were alright unti it was time for Caylee to do her solo part. Thats when Olivia took off out of her chair and Atticus hit the camera out of my hand and i didnt get it picked back up until she was making her way back to her seat :( There are alot of parts so here you go! This first one is just a tester video to make sure the lighting was ok!:

One Day...One Day

There will be no more screaming amongst the children in my house. Yea i know wishful thinking right? Well atleast after July 20th I will have atleast 3 and a half hours of fighting free house time since Atticus will be the only one home... Woooot.



today is Caylees End of the year performance at school. Its her "patriotic tribute" since they are ending school a week before 4th of july. So look for that video later! Well Maybe since i have to handle Olivia and Atticus by my self since John is working.... I hope i can video tape it.. I hope.



John got off early lastnight {every 2weeks they have to take a early night} and he took his yesterday because he had court today. Yea they cancelled like always. I think in the 5years we have been together only 2 or 3 of his cases went through to trial. the rest all pleded out. I guess that goes to say how good of a report taker John is..hehe



William and Melanie are coming down this weekend. Olivia is super excited because she misses Melanie so much. Caylee is going to a Camp out sleep over birthday party on Saturday. I hope she does ok sleeping outside... eeeek.. I guess if she doesnt i will be driving across town in the middle of the night to come get her.



Olivia's birthday party is coming along nicely :} Got her invites done Im making the goodie bags handmade this year so wooot for mommy. I still need to decide on food though. I cant decide... Anyway Invites will be going out sometime in July :}



Well Im off to take a shower and get Caylee from school so she can get ready for her performance. Wish me luch with all the kids..haha

My thoughts on being a Deputy's Wife

I truly am amazed at the assumptions that non Police Wives make about life being married to a cop. Yes sure it has major benifits like built in security, the pride of knowing that your signifigant other is out there making a difference for people on a daily basis, a whole extended family of other LEOs that would help in a heartbeat, the joy of having other wives that know what its like to struggle with the worry.




What you dont know is the way it puts a major strain on alot of families. Its a struggle. for a good chunk of the week i am basically a single mother. While John is technically here in the house he is not awake; unless i need him to be. i am lucky in the way that if i need him to help with the kids for any reason he will put sleep to the side and be there for his kids. But he also sacrifices ALOT when it comes to his children; He misses alot of their firsts to protect the streets so other families are safe.



He has to cut holidays short because he has to work; He misses meals and birthdays; and fun days. although we try to schedule them when he is off sometimes we just cant work it out that way. On the days he works my kids get to see him for maybe a hour total that day. A half hour in the morning because he stays up with them while i take Caylee to school, and then for about a half hour while he gets up and gets ready for work in the afternoon. Not reallyh long enough for anything more than hugs and kisses and he is out the door for the night.



Its usually when he leaves that I have the hardest time; Thats when the worry sets in; i worry if this is going to be the night he doesnt come home; I worry that i will never hear his I love yous anymore {something over the last year I have learned not to take advantage of.} When i first got together with John i had this cocky little attitude about his Job. I hated his job. I truly hated it. It made me wonder why i decided to be with a man that had to put his career first before his family. I can now truly see why the divorce rate is so high amongst LEOs. and it makes it that much more special when you see a LEO marriage survive for a long time. 2 years ago i couldnt see our marriage lasting with the stress that it put on us. I really wanted a husband that was there at the end of the day to help me with the kids and give me a break when i needed it. That just wasnt going to happen with a husband in this line of work and i know that now.



But on his days off he really does his best to make sure that those are my resting days. and I love him for that. This past year changed the way i view alot of things. In June of Last year my husbands Beat Partner was killed in the line of duty. That put a nice huge reality check on me. John and I use to fight like crazy and you know what since Deputy Diaz's Death we havent fought ONCE. yes we have small disagreements but nothing like how it use to be before. and it made me sad for all the times i let him leave the house without even so much as a goodbye when i was pissed at him.



I have a new sense of importance now. Its not a priority to stop whatever I am doing when its time for him to leave and go to the door and say i love you and goodbye to him. Its now important that our kids stop what they are doing and say goodbye and give hugs and kisses as he leaves. Its now important to Take ALL phone calls when Daddys name comes up on the caller ID on my phone. Its now important to be patient when you want to speak to him and he doesnt pick up his phone or call you back for several hours some nights not even at all. Its now important to spend that 5 minutes every morning before the kids wake up snuggling with him {even though i dont like to cuddle} because his night just might have been rough and he needs that snuggle to ease his stress.



yes alot more goes into being a LEOs wife then people might think. but its well worth it in my eyes

Not Much of a Fathers Day

I cant take the kids to see my father because of the area he lives in right now He feels its just too dangerous and doesnt want the kids to be in that area. John is sleeping ALL day because he has to go to work in about 2 hours. The kids made him homemade fathers day cards though. :)




Im really not feeling well i have massive pain in my left side down where my ovaries are. its making it hard for me to finish what i am wanting to get done plus its making my stomach hurt from all the cramping. anyway Yea Im off to lay back down while the kids nap.

"A Tribute to a Cop's Wife"

"A Tribute to a Cop's Wife"

Honey, I'm sure you've heard at times during our married life,

From those who ask. Aren't you proud to be a policeman's wife?

But Honey, let me say this: it's you I'm proud of, and they would be, too.

If only they could see what it takes to be one and what she has to go through.

To be a lawman, it's no easy task to do what we have to do.

But it's a much harder job to be his wife, and it takes someone special like you.

And I know God chose you to be with me in this life.

Because he knew you had the quality and strength to be a cop's wife.

Some may say that I have courage and I'm a hero and that sort of thing;

And when I hear it, this thought to my mind it always brings:

It's you Honey, you're the courage behind this man's badge, don't you see;

And it's you Hon', who's the real hero, not me.

And I know you get lonely and frustrated at times and wonder if it's worth it all;

But if you ever left me, this "brave courageous hero" would be no man at all.

And I know you worry about the temptations I face on the streets,

Of the women of the night and girls that I meet.

But let me tell you this, Honey, and you listen good:

There's nobody on this earth who could replace you, they certainly never could.

And I know there are times when I go to work and you kiss me goodbye,

That you must worry and wonder if this is the day I've been chosen to die.

And Honey, if that should ever happen and someday become true,

Remember, Hon', my very last thoughts on this earth will be of you.

BY

Captain Harvey C. Hines

Lets Talk Friendships

Ok so I cant really sleep now that my headache has gone away. Blah thats a problem all in its self. Anyway i am getting off track {haha yea nothing new} Anyway:




I use to have a friend I would hangout with all the time. and when i mean all the time it was all the time well not when she was at work etc. but every Free moment we spent together. It was really great. I considered her a Best Friend, someone i could talk to when i needed someone, She helped me numerous times with things, our kids loved each other. it was fantastic.



Along the way of our friendship I did some things that were not nice at all.{There is a whole backstory here but I wont get into it to save us both from embarrassment}Certain events happened in our friendship that probably shouldnt have but that wasnt the reason why things went south. Things went south because I wasnt honest with her. Instead I lied to her to spare her feelings when i should have just been upfront. and it changed the way our friendship was.



For a while we didnt talk; when we did start talking again it just wasnt the same as before and since we have merely let our friendship simmer down to a mere aquiantance level. I really dont want that. I miss our time together. It hit me really hard the last time we hung out just how much i really miss who we use to be. I just simply MISS HER.



The last time we hung out it was like old times. It was GREAT. Too much time has been missed between us that we cannot get back but I am willing and ready to make sure we dont have anymore missed time.



I dont let people get to close to me and that all steams from my childhood. When you grow up in a house like i did it truly is hard to be a good friend to anyone. I struggle in my daily life just to be a good wife, mother, person. I WANT my friendship with her back. So if she is game I am game. Lets get back to were we use to be. No scratch that LETS be closer than how we use to be before.

Happy Fathers Day!!

John has to work tomorrow so we wont be spending fathers day with him unless you count his being in the room to sleep the entire day while we are out in the living room doing our thing :(

Anyway I hope that everyone has a wonderful Fathers Day tomorrow!!!

and Im off!

Today I have a photoshoot with a very photogenic little girl! So these should be some fun and easy photos to capture. We are doing them outside at various places around the city. I cant wait. and I know she is super excited.

on another note I AM SO SUN BURNT.. omg i had the most horrible time sleeping lastnight because of it. SUCKS.

alright Im off to get dressed I have to leave here in 30 minutes :p have a wonderful Saturday you all!~

More from today

So I said i would share more pics from today.. and I will hold true to that promise. So here are a few pics of Atticus:

Swimming with Erin, Ryan & Christina

Today was a swim day with Erin and her kids.... They had lots of fun playing around in the pool. not we are hanging out relaxing in the nice air conditioned house. wooot its was to freaking hot outside..yep yep anyway her are a few photos from today. I will share more later!:

Midnight Trip to Walmart:

Atticus couldnt go to sleep tonight. As a matter of fact he is STILL awake watching Scooby Doo. ugh. Anyway So at 11:55pm I took him to walmart well i started out just for a drive to see if he would sleep. It was clear that wasnt happening. So we went into walmart. He got a Thomas the train toy {He loves trains} and i got a few pool toys for the kids to play with tomorrow when Erin and her daughter Tina come over to swim.




Caylee is still complaining about her finger. I dont know what else to do for her other than make sure she has Motrin in her system. Im not sure if she is going to school tomorrow either. Or maybe she will just go a half day. and I will pick her up at 11. idk havent decided yet. Lets just see how she is feeling in the morning.



I didnt even get her photos done either. I went to the location i wanted to use and there was a wedding going on so we just headed to the store. 2 hours in the crazy store. but I was able to get a DAMN good deal on chicken. I usually pay close to 20 bucks for a family sized package with 6 breasts. Today i got 10 breast packages for 3.56 each. SCORE i bought 3. I didnt want to be greedy like the other fucking people were being.



One guy had 2 whole carts of just chicken. Stupid. anyway ok Im off to bed. Gotta have some sleep so i can enjoy my day tomorrow.

Its 80 baby!

This post makes 80 for my blogger life and 37 for this month alone. WOW i blog way too much...lol Do i really even blog about anything important??? No not really. Tomorrow I have a friend coming over to swim. and Sat I have a Modeling shoot with a young model she is 8 but she is the perfect Modeling subject so we are going to do some outdoor shots around different areas. Im so looking forward to it.




This evening i am taking Caylee out to do some photos as well. So look for those soon! Yea im off to do the grocery shopping Ive been slacking on it all day. ugh i hate the grocery store. More later I am sure!

Hot Hot Hot {duh i know its summer}

This afternoon I took the girls out to the pool. I got to lay in the sun for a while and make myself HOT HOT HOT...lol While the girls swam. It was nice i love that the weather is hot now. Im more than likely to be out and about on hot days rather than cool/cold days....




Caylee Jammed her finger today at basketball practice at school. They splinted it for a while and then took it off. When she got home it was sooo swollen but i didnt think she needed it splinted so we headed out to the pool.

When we got back inside i had John look at it and he said i needed to go get her a splint at walgreens and splint it when she isnt showering, swimming etc. and she needs motrin to get the swelling down.ooops bad mommy moment!
 
anyway I was able to snap some photos of the girls and I at the pool this afternoon even though they didnt want to stop long enough to appease mommy with her request i still got cute ass smiles out of them.




Yea just ignore my fattness. My goal is to spend a little time at the pool everyday. or atleast on all of Johns days off. Its hard to go with Atticus since he still isnt too fond of swimming.

Hopefully he will turn into a waterbaby soon. Hopefully. I feel like he is always missing out when we go to the pool and he is always upstairs with John. Hopefully tomorrow Judi will bring the girls to swim with my girls. They have really missed them :(
 
Here is shot 2 of my girls and I
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

just another one of me
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Then I wanted some of just Caylee and I and then Just Olivia and I so here those are:
 

My Dad {getting down with technology

My Dad.. Has learned how to phototext me...lol this is the pic i got! I mean dang he is in his 60s lol so this is a good accomplishment.. Im surprised he has a cell phone. No kidding he can work a phone... Anyway Hopefully soon before the girls go back to school they can meet their grandfather. He is the only living grandfather they have. Speaking of the girls starting school. The school called today because they lost a teacher in the 4th grade class so Caylee had to change tracks. So she is on D track now which starts back on July 20th We decided to put Olivia on D track so that will be her start date as well!!!!!!! Not much of a summer vacation but hey its education and thats more important. Anyway This is my last post tonight. Im going to get the kids to bed {running late on that one} and then read my new book by Diane Chamberlain!

Tiddly Tuesday.....or something like that

I guess I didnt blog much yesterday. Just wasnt into it...lol Its alright there wasnt much to blog about. So i sit here this morning waiting on the cable guy to come back and fix our cable. It was just installed yesterday afternoon. WTH i came home from getting caylee from school and it wasnt working. Called them up and tried to work through it with the lady on the phone and still nothing so here i sit. Hopefully he will get here soon. I have things i need to get done today like oh i dont know grocery shopping. Yea it might be nice to have some more options in the house for food..lol The fighting between the kids has already started today. Yes this is going to be a FANTASTIC day...haha Im getting things going on Olivia's Party. Trying to decide what i want to serve food wise. I was thinking just getting some sandwhiches, chips and juice boxes. Then having Cake. simple and easy. Im also attempting to make her goody bags from scratch. Bags and all. We shall see how this goes over...lol The only thing i wont try to make myself is her cake. I would screw it up. Im not a good cake maker. or decorator. I can make a cake just fine. :) Next month is John and I's 4th wedding anniversary. So I have to plan out a night for that too. jeeze we have a busy summer. His kids are coming down next weekend and then staying for a whole week in August. {Look out... its been a while since Ive had all 5 in the house...Lord} Anyway I should take a shower before the cable guy gets here and get the kids dressed and ready to go out the door. Im still uterly exhausted and i went to bed at 8pm lastnight. yipppppppppy

Today is Just...so what do ya know?

Olivia had her Last Speech Appt this morning. She will now attend Speech therapy 2xs a week and Soon we will have her IEP set in motion. Just have to know who her teacher is going to be to have our parent conference. Ugh I did not walk out of there this morning happy. Olivias comprehension level is LOW :( She isnt even at the 4year old level. I dont understand how that can possibly be..... She is sooo smart. anyway Im not going to think about it right now. Im just going to continue to work with her as best as i can and work closely with her speech therapist and her teacher(s) at school and make sure she doesnt slip through the cracks.

Im stuck at home right now waiting for the Comcast person to come re-install our cable. FINALLY. I dont want to be here right now. Its been a rough morning. and my night isnt going to be any better. I dont want the cop to go to work tonight i want him to just stay home. If he could stay home the rest of his life i would love it.

Today makes one year since Deputy Diaz was killed in the line of duty. My Heart goes out to his daughters that he left behind. I cant only imagine how hard today is for them.Anyway Im off to make my kiddos lunch and hope the cable person comes soon so i can spend the rest of the day outside of the house. I need fresh air today and someone to talk to. Atleast i can have one of those today.

Freshly Bathed Babies

There is nothing better than cuddling with Atticus after he is just out of a bath. My gosh he smells so good. He may be 2 years old but i still love using the baby wash on him; and i still rub him down with Baby creme afterwards. Its our special mommy/son time between the two of us. Then he gets dressed and usually snuggles into my neck for about 10 minutes. ahhh i love it. My polite little boy who says thank you when he realizes he is too tired to continue to snuggle and must get up and run around before he falls asleep...hehe

The girls are too big to have this routine with anymore :( so i cheerish this time with my son. Soon enough he will be too big as well. The Deputy is at work now. This is his long week so 4 days working. ugh I hate the long weeks. They seem to drag longer..lol

Well We are going to bed early tonight. yea right i know i will be up later in teh middle of the night but Im hoping not. The kids have a hour before bed. Thank goodness because Im tired of Miss Preteens attitude today. If she keeps it up I will send her to military school..lol {just kidding}

The ATM Card Drama

So apparently yesterday while John was at work he did something to freeze his ATM card. So today i went over to our little bank but they didnt let me reset his pin for him so i had to give him some Cash until he can go over there tomorrow when they dont close so early. I do love our bank though. They are open 7 days a week which is nice!So today has been a simple sunday so far. just been lazy today and let the kids run around. I have to go to walmart in a few a return something and get some supplies for the house. Yumm I decided to make Potatoe leek soup for dinner tonight. I havent made it in so long. I just know im going to eat way too much of it and way too many peices of garlic bread too. Atleast i had a healthy salad for lunch..haha So anyway tomorrow Olivia goes in for her last Evaluation in speech services and then we get to make a IEP for her. Im so happy that this is going forward. I hope that this will be beneficial and she wont be held back in Kindergarten. But atleast if she has to repeat Kindergarten is the best year for it. Ive also decided to try and get Atticus into a preschool type program when he turns 3. Seems that all my kids have speech problems so i want to start even earlier with Atticus. He will be evaluated by the school like Olivia is being as well. He just needs to be 3 first. So not until October. OMGosh speaking of Atticus and his birthday i have a cute ass party planned for him. Lets just hope i can actually do it this year. Oh and I have once again changed Olivia's Party around...lol Decided to make it a smaller event since the following weekend I am going to Pismo Beach to meet some PWs {Police Wives}. Anyway Im off to get Atticus dressed and head out the door.

Starting To Think

That i blog WAY too much...lol I look at how many post i have so far for June and its WAY more than the 13 days we have had so far this month. lol Yea um WOW. is pretty much all i can say. I will be back later i am sure with a more interesting Post.

Our outing Yesterday {Day Late}

Yesterday {I say that because its already 1:30am}We went and took the kids to MacDonalds to eat lunch and play for a while before it was time to get Caylee from school and go get a few things we needed at wally world {and a lot that we didnt}. Here they are playing with the little video game type thing at our table. Score for daddy for getting that table. Usually its always occupied. So yay it kept Atticus entertained while Olivia played on the structure. Which allowed Mr Deputy and I some time to talk.

I do have to say that Atticus really got a kick out of this dang video game screen. He loved coloring the little pictures and playing the little bowling game. I think he is going to be just like his daddy and like Computer and/or Video games.He is so amazed at technology. Maybe he will grow up to be computer genius...lol Who knows as long as he is happy.Daddy and I took over the game system and played some checkers. John of course beat me like a bad bad habit. I really suck at checkers {mental note to practice my checker skills before playing John again}..haha Yea i dont think that will help.

So yea I have a lot of pictures of Atticus from today and just that one of Olivia...lol its because she wouldnt come down from the play structure long enough for me to snap another one.She was too busy playing with another little girl in there and seeing who could do the loudest high pitched scream.

OH lord is Olivia the scream queen.That must not come from my side of the family...haha I blame it all on John... besides he is the one with 3 sisters. I know they have high pitched screams at one point. Well maybe not Auntie Shell {Michelle} but Auntie Pamela and Auntie Elizabeth most likely.

Oh Lets not forget about the Strawberry Milkshakes Daddy promised them yesterday. He actually followed through. and of course Attibob makes the silliest faces while drinking.It was kinda hard for him to get it up through the straw. They made it extra thick. No scratch that they made it SUPER EXTRA THICK. Which I think truly is a first for Macdonalds...lol

So after our little lunch ended and right before we headed out the door to get Caylee from school and head to Devilworld {haha That was for HOPE from HopenMinded} I managed to get Atticus to sit still long enough for ONE photo with dear old mommy. Well Im not old but you get my point.

Please please please Do not adjust your screen I am indeed that FAT.LOL totally kidding I love poking fun at my weight. I know im a large woman and one day that will change but for now i am content with who I am.Besides being big is a mark of motherhood. Our bodies change when we give life. So be proud of it!

So anyway yep we got Caylee and headed to the store. I got my Keyboard replaced {Thanks Kelly for helping me out with typing the @ sign for me :P} I am now ready to do things on my keyboard again! WOOHOO. Oh yea I got a Spill resistant one too. I reccomend everyone with little kids that like to get on their desks to get one~

Caylee's Baby Photos

Here are just a SMALL amount of baby photos of Caylee. I have Hundreds upon Hundreds of photos of her. I mean come on she is 9 years old...lol Which over half of her photos are from film camera's. SO transfering them takes time.Boy has alot changed since the birth of my first and at that time i swore LAST child..lol Guess i didnt hold up to that. Its kind of weird seeing baby photos of her. Especially when she is 9 and going into the 4th grade. Ahhhhhhhhh really time flys. But its so worth it.

Olivia's Baby Photos

So these are definately not all of Olivia's baby photos but they are 83 of them :D Yep we got the scanner to actually work lastnight soi started uploading photos to the computer. Gosh i have so many more photos to upload and its going to take some time so start looking for ALOT more photo posts. This afternoon i am going to be working on Caylees Baby photos as well. Just have to get in the boxes and get her baby book out.Its soo bittersweet to look at these photos. She was so tiny and now she is going to be 5 in less than 2 months and starting kindergarten soon. WOW time has a way of flying by. Which is why i am glad that i always have a camera in my kids faces. They may hate it now but hopefully as adults they will love having all these photos of their childhood to look at :D Well iam off gotta get dressed and head out. I get a new keyboard today YAY which will make typing less of a chore since Atticus knocked my drink over and onto it which is causing the keys to stick and most not to work. Have a happy Friday{oh yea if you click the photo it makes it larger so you can see all the photos}

Time to get Happy

This mornng i really REALLY wasnt feeling good. I went to bed lastnight at 6 or 7 pm {cant remember which} anyway that was completely early for me. Especially when most of you know i dont hardly ever sleep so i woke this mornng not feeling well, dizzy cloudy and just plain out of it. which left me in a bad mood as well. But I refuse to have full bad days. I refuse to be a negative person like i use to be so this afternoon I WILL have a good day. Besides its my deputys days off which means i get to spend some time with him. My song of today is Rehab Music- Bartender haha. anyway here is a pic of the band. They are just awesome i think. anyways John has his follow up appt today for the surgery on his mouth he had. The bone is still sticking out so he will most likely come home with a puffy mouth again. which means a dinner planned around soft foods. I really cant wait until Caylee is done with school and we have a short break with no early mornings of having to rush to get her there on time. I know she is ready for the end of the school year too. Her class is doing a patriotic performance on June 23rd so I will post the video after that. and on June 24th they are having their end of the year trip to Kings Skate for a morning of rollerskating and then coming back and having a Pizza party:D Caylee's official last day of 3rd grade is June 25th then i officially have a 4th grader and a kindergartener. WOW. One kid left at home... this will take some getting use to. anyway off to take a shower and let the kiddos play outside. late

First Trip to the Library

for Atticus and Livy today. Olivia was amazed. Atticus just wanted to terrorize the elevator button...lol and he made it so hard for me to search for books. but i managed to grab a few and one for olivia and a movie for atticus. anyway just thought i would share this first

New Portraits of my self

4:30am....Yea Hello

This is thanks to Mrs Fuzz over at A Police Wife

Because Im awake at 4:30am..

A- Age: 28 years old

B - Bed size: Queen thats about 4 feet off the floor

C - Chore you hate: Laundry

D - Dog's name: No Dog

E - Essential start your day item: Water to wash off my face

F - Favorite color: shades of blue

G - Gold or Silver or Platinum: White Gold

H - Height: 5'1

I - Instruments you play: None now but the violin in elementary school

J - Job title: Wife, Mother, Domestic Goddess, Photographer

K - Kid(s): Caylee, William, Olivia, Melanie & Atticus

L - Living arrangements: With my husband and kids

M - Mom's name: Anna

N - Nicknames: Des, babe, momma, honey

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Yes Tonsils as a kid and a partial hysterectomy last November

P - Pet Peeve: Know it alls

Q - Quote from a movie: "No one puts babe in the corner"~Dirty Dancing

R - Right handed or left handed: Left handed all the way

S - Siblings: yes 1 full blooded brother Robert a half brother Jeff and Half sister Lacreshia

T - Time you wake up: 8am to take Caylee to school

U- Underwear: Whats that????? JK

V - Vegetable you dislike: Okra..just YUCK

W - Ways you run late: The kids, The husband

X - X-rays you've had: Ankle, Teeth, Arm, Chest thats all i can remember

Y - Yummy food you make: Tacos,Lasagna, Stew and a lot others

Z - Zoo favorite: Tigers. I just love love love tigers

Tuesday Randomness

So this afternoon we took the kids over to burger king (*i know bad mommy but i needed a hamburger...lol) anyway we let them eat and play. It was nice to have john with us. He did have to go in until 8 tonight which he just left a while ago to make the commute.

Anyway Oliva love the slide that was in there. She kept going downhead first..hehe. Atticus really wouldnt play in the structure. He is too scared to go up.

So he mostly just sat with daddy and mommy while his sisters played. Which was fine. He is such a lazy person i swear. He would rather be home laying on the couch ( which has now turned into his bed) and watch his movies (Cars,Toy Story and Scooby Doo).

Boy does he LOVE french fries though. specifically Burger King Frys....lol I just cant believe how big my kids are getting. In little over a month he will be the last kid at home with me :( My girls will be in school for the majority of the day.

and then soon he will be in school and I really wont know what to do with my days...haha yea right its called sleep. and making up for all the lack of it while they were small.

I really need to get another point and shoot camera because my camera phone sucks now.It really does. so sorry for the sucky freaking photos today!

This is the cutest photo of Caybear an Attibob though. Notice they have the same color hair and eye color....

where they get the light hair i have no clue! haha I know they have my eye color while Olivia has daddys eye color.

Monday Night Madness

I have no clue what has gotten into my children. All of a sudden Daddy is back doing cop work and they decide to run wild. its 8:30pm and they are a hour and a half past their bed time. and now to top it off i have a huge mess to clean up in the living room; which just goes to show that Mondays are seriously the worse day of the week..lol In exactly one week 3 things will be happening. First We will finally be getting cable back. Thank god because im going nuts with the movies we have and them repeating 20 million times a day... ugh and then it also marks the 1 year anniversary of Deputy Tony Diaz ( John's partner) death. Im not sure how John will be on that day. im sure he will just be really quite. and the last thing is that Olivia will be getting the final part of her Speech testing done. Its taken forever because she gets VERY frustrated and we have had to spilt it into short testing cycles. This will allow her to get her IEP started for kindergarten in a few weeks. Caylee has a field trip tomorrow with her class.. Joy joy so i better get her into bed so she isnt late! haha maybe more later.

Monday Morning Mayhem

ahhhh... Monday mornings, the start of another glorious week. The Cop is at work. Ok well not right now he is actually sleep so he can go to work later! Caylee is at school doing her end of the 3rd grade year stuff, Olivia is making a mess out of her room, and Atticus is whinny as ever.

Great what a fantastic morning this is going to be. and to top it all off i have a HUGE zit on my chin and hurts soooo bad.But what the hell am i complaining for right!? I have it pretty good besides the fact that my children are giving me a headache from all the high pitched screaming thats going on behind me.

Ok enough with the ranting and raving for the day. instead i will just show you some photos of my babies as babies and now~ It always makes me happy looking at their baby photos. Oh how i long for the days when they were small... I miss the snuggly days :P

Thanks Atticus

To say the least most of the things i do on a daily basis goes without a Thank you. Except for one person. and I love hearing it from this one person in my household. Neither of the girls EVER tell me thank you. John doesnt either. Well he does but not on a regular basis and i must admit I find myself wanting to hear it from them. I mean I know this is my job as the stay at home mother/wife but still alittle appreciation goes along way. Im not talking everyday but Once in a while would be nice.

That is where Atticus comes in. He is super into say thank you to mommy. Anytime i do anything for him he says it. It leaves me wondering where he got it from because i dont hear it from any one else enough for him to have picked up on it. BUT i love it.

like today at dinner. I set his plate down and Atticus responded Thank you Momma. I said your welcome and he hugged my leg and then went and ate. and if you dont acknowledge his thank you he will say it until you do. I get thank you's for feeding him, bathing him, tucking him in, putting a movie on for him etc. It feels wonderful.

If i have to leave he walks me to the door and gives me a Hug and kiss and says gooooodbye momma and he will shut the door and then run to the side windown and Yell i LUV YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU and blow another kiss.

Gosh i love my son. although he is a royal pain in the butt he makes up for it with his manners and genuine love for his momma.

Naps.. Gotta Love em'

Oh how wonderful Naps are when they actually happen in our house. Atticus has been refusing naps all week long. So this afternoon i was planing on taking them outside to play and while the girls were getting ready and i was playing around on the interwebs atticus was watching spongebob and i came out to see him asleep. YES that means a couple hours of reading time for me!We have a playground right outside our apartment to i let the girls go outside a play. I can see them from the window so its easy for me to check on them. Plus they come in and out of the house repeatdly so I know they are ok.Now i am going to go read more of my book "The Courage Tree" by Diane Chamberlain. So far its excellent!!!

Simple Sunday

Wether you consider sunday the start of a New week or the end of a old one make it simple. There really isnt a need to rush around today. There isnt a need to get everything on your to do list done. just take the time and enjoy the day. Wether its a walk in the park, a movie etc.

What makes me happy on my sundays is curling up on the couch and reading a good book while the air is filled with my childrens laughter and playing. We are going to take a wonderful walk today.

Hopefully Livy will be able to find some more ladybugs. She has a utter facination for them

Sunday is simple for our household Daddy sleeps all day so he can go fight crime all night.

Caylee gets ready for the start of the school week. I know only 2 more weeks before she gets a tiny summer break.Sunday is just the day to "be".

Whatever your sunday is I hope that its a nice and relaxing and pleasant one!~Chaotic Beauty

Squishy Mommy

I think there is a reason why Mommies have squishy bellies. It serves in multiple ways. You can have fun with it, It giggles and wiggles and makes kids laugh in delight. Its also a comfort when your little needs it.

I noticed today just how this amazing squishy belly works with my own son. He likes to giggle and laugh as he pats my tummy and it jiggles around, He uses it as a mini trampoline and jumps on it while in his knees ( which Yes it is uncomfy) but it also gets me to use my abdominal muscles {Score}. He also likes to blow on my tummy and make farting noises.

Its also his comfort zone when he is not feeling well or he gets hurt. the first place he lays is on that squishy pillow like tummy.

So you see having a squishy mommy belly is a good thing~ Well atleast in my household it is.

Cheers to all the squishy bellies that bring happiness to kids around the world! :P

55-pffft

Yep I have only done 55 posts...lol you would think with as much as I talk i would have blogged alot more than 55 times... Eh I guess i just need to blog more hehe.

Ive had a Fantastic Day today. Not too busy, kinda just chill. Let the kids run around did some laundry, dishes and made meals. athough i am tired a heck since i stayed up until almost 4am making design templates for a Website Im on.

Really I am going to share some of the samples with you all. Some say I should go full force into Web Design. What do you all think?

Atticus & The Police Station:

So I ordered Atticus a Wooden Police station from Pottery Barn Kids because it was marked down to $36 from $100 so needless to say it was a Excellent deal! So it Came lastnight and I opened it today. The kid loves it. I havent gotten any figures for him to play with them yet. So he just used the random toys around: My little pony, Woody, a bratz doll...lol anyway here are the adorable photos:

Keeping a Postive Attitude in a Negative World

In today's society its really hard to keep a positive attitude and live happily. There are so many things keeping us down. The state of the economy is a huge factor in our daily lives; while some of us may be "safe" with our jobs and thus not worrying about anything; the majority of the USA is struggling with how to make ends meet. I know from personal experience Im on both sides of the fence. Even though my darling husbands job is perfectly secure; the rising cost of things such as gas, food, clothing; and the lack of overtime and potential cuts being made to his job have started to "stress and strain" us. What makes things worse is the lack of jobs available for someone that has been out of the workforce for 5 years +. But we make our days what they are. We set the mood as soon as we wake up. WE HAVE THE CHOICE to be positive in a negative world. The power that being positive has brought into my life is amazing. I realize just HOW much i have to live for. Every morning as I sit down at the computer to check email and my sites i make a list. The list includes: 4 things that need to get done today; 4 things i miss; 4 things i am grateful for. I try for the most part to follow my list yet i find myself only really doing the things on that list that make me truly happy. which alot of the time ends up being to play and spend time with my children over cleaning the house. When i have a moment of negativity that seems to be trying to make its way into my daily routine i stop for a moment and take some deep breaths. Through out the entire day i do take 5 minutes here or 5 minutes there for me. It helps me calm and center myself. It has been a long hard path for me to change my inner self and to be a more positive person. I still have my bad days but now there are more good days then bad. ~Chaotic Beauty

Helpful Hints

Did You Know??? Peel a banana from the bottom and you won’t have to pick the little “stringy things” off of it. That’s how the primates do it. Also, take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster. Cheese Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.It will stay fresh much longer and not mold! Peppers Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking. Ground Beef Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking. Eggs To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple ofspoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up. Brownies For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mintsin double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting. Garlic Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light tasteof garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic. Snicker Bars Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm Reheat Pizza Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works. Easy Deviled Eggs Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done for easy clean up. Expanding Frosting When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving. Reheating refrigerated bread To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster. Newspaper weeds awayStart putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil.. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers. Broken Glass Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can’t see easily. No More Mosquitoes Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.It will keep the mosquitoes away. Squirrel Away! To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn’t hurt the plant and the squirrels won’t come near it. Flexible vacuum To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings. Reducing Static ClingPin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! .. static is gone. Measuring Cups Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don’t try the cup. Next add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out. Foggy Windshield? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep in glove compartment. When window fogs, rub with eraser. Works better than a cloth. Reopening Envelopes If you seal an envelope and realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or tow. Viola! It unseals easily. Goodbye Fruit Flies To get rid if pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it ½” with Apple Cide Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever! Get Rid of Ants Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it “home,” can’t digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed! About Clothes Dryers Dryer sheets cause a film over the mesh of your lint filter and that’s what burns out the heating unit. You can’t see the film, but it’s there. Take the filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every 6 months

1772 days

Is how long John and I have been together at this point! WOW its hard to believe that in a little over a month we will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary and 5 years of being a couple! It seems like just yesterday we met. Time really is flying by.

Its all coming together

Miss Olivia...who will be starting kindergarten soon. just waiting on the papers that say who her teacher is and when she starts officialy. Anyway Ive blogged about her speech problems in the past. On the 15th she is going in for the final part of her testing and evaluation for services and then the following week after that is our parent meeting to set her IEP plan in motion for when school starts.

I am really hoping this helps her suceed in school so she doesnt have to get held back. Im really hoping.

Great Grandma Ruth

Ruth V Campos

July 3rd 1929 to May 28th 2009

A tribute to Refugio Vargas Mendoza Campos Also Known as Cuca & Ruth.

Ruth was born in 1929 in Los Angelas California. At the age of 8 her journey took her to Penjamo Guanajuato and Sonora Mexica where she would live until she was 16. At this point she returned to Los Angelas the place she considered her real home. At the age of 19 on May 29th 1949 She married Jose Murgia Campos. They shared a life of holy matrimony for 56 years. The had Three Children; Joe Agustine, Maria Guadalupe and Terri. Her son Joe and his wife Barbara gave them three grandchildren, Michelle, John and Pamela. Her daughter Terri gave them one granddaughter Maria. Later they would be blessed with 9 great grandchildren; William,Hadrian, Caylee, Brownie, Savannah, Olivia, Melanie, Nathan and Atticus.

Ruth was a very generous giving and loving person, always ready to lend a helping hand.She loved children and became a grandmother figure to many children loving them as if they were her own.

Ruth Volunteered her time tutoring children for many years at McClelland Elementary School, and for ten years colunteered her time with the Arms of Mercy Feeding program; feeding thousands of people along side Mama Marks in the Del Paso Heights Community.

Ruth was truly like the handmaid of the lord, always ready to give from the sacred space of her heart. She was devoted to the scared Heart of Jesus and many other saints. As her family we believe the following Poem portrays her love of the lord and how she shared it unconditionally with all who stood in need of a kind word or gentle smile

There is a place where words are born of silence.

A place where the whispers of the heart arise

There is a place where voices sing your beauty

A place where every breathCarves you a imagein my soul

~Rumi

This was taken off her dedication pamplet from the funeral today. It was such a sad day.

Its late.. or early depending on how you look at it!

My Little mini me. A photo i took tonight with my cell of Livy and I together.That really has nothing to do with my post. I just wanted to share it. Anyway I am up late its 2:57 am and I can not for the life of me sleep. Maybe its because I truly am not looking forward to what tomorrow brings.Or maybe its the fact that i have so many thoughts running through my head my mind never seems to shut down and let me rest. I guess that could be both a good and a bad thing. Again Depending on how you look at it.My hair is a giant Frizz ball right now. JOY. random i know. I dont even know why i am sitting here at the computer typing all my random and jumbled thoughts. eh oh well i guess the morning will be a starbucks morning to get a jolt of caffeine so i dont fall asleep during the services............. yea i got nothing else. I guess i will go pop in a movie and try to relax on the couch.

Yep its Wowtastic

Today has been a wowtastic day. no not really. I feel like im getting a cold and i have the headache from hell. Its not a lack of caffeine headache because ive been drinking caffeine all day. Hopefully eating this bowl of ramen will help me out some. Speaking of Ramen I saw i really cute B list movie this week called The Ramen Girl It has Britney Murphy in it. I got it out of the Red Box Movie things at the grocery store. It was surprisingly better than i thought it was going to be. The Red Box has become my new addiction for renting movies. Hey you cant beat a damn Dollar~! and its convient being at the store. Since i always seem to be there...lolJohn's been home all this week from work. he had to have Oral surgery on his mouth. He got a abscest and it was so bad that it caused a bone spur in his Jaw. Which resulted in a peice of it sticking out of his gum. Ouch, so he had that taken care of. So being under the influence of Vicodin is making it to where he cant go be on duty.Its been nice having him home but annoying at the same time since i need my own space and to do my own routine with the kids during the day and its hard since daddy disrupts it. But the kids are getting to spend alot of time with Daddy so that makes it worth it.I really need to pick up my camera again. Its been to long. I just havent wanted to. Although i will soon since two of my favorite little men Jaxson and Xavier will be having birthdays :) and Livy too. So soon i will pick it back up! anyway Off to check the millions of other sites i am on. I really should get rid of more.....lol

Living

So life goes on everyday like no one else is effected by your own personal problems. I havent been much into deep writing lately. I dont really know why. Well Im sure its because of loosing Johns Grandma.

I just feel like being quiet. Her funeral is this wednesday. Something im not really looking forward to but it will be nice to pay my final respects. And i know i can always go out and visit her grave whenever i want to be in her presence again.

The kids have no clue whats going on really. I havent cried in front of them or showed my sadness. I make sure that i am focused on them. Olivia FINALLY learned how to count to 10 over the past couple days. yes i know she is behind, but we are working on her.

Caylee is getting ready for her big performance in the end of the year play her 3rd grade class is putting on! she has been singing her song all afternoon in her room..hehe

anyway I am off to take a hot bubble bath and enjoy the fact that my children are in bed before midnight tonight :P

ahhhhhhhhhh June...

Its such a nice and cool June 1st morning. I love it. not too hot yet. perfect weather for a walk.Which is what we shall be doing here shortly. just need to wait for miss livy to wake up. Boy is she sleeping in late this morning :)More later Atticus is getting into something...lol BOYS